The Gayest of Them All
by nikkiRA
Summary: Oneshot, KayeRoiben & CornyLuis/ Someone calls Corny something that Roiben doesn't like too much. T for swearing.


Kaye, Roiben, Corny, and Luis were all eating at a little hole in the wall coffee shop. Kaye was eating a hamburger, Roiben was eyeing his food apprehensively, and Corny was laughing at Luis.

"What are you laughing at?" Luis demanded. Corny motioned to his own face.

"You have ketchup all over your face."

Luis reached up to wipe it away. Corny grabbed his hand.

"I'll get it off," he told Luis, leaning over and kissing him on the mouth.

Someone walked past. "Fags," they said, no attempt to lower their voice. Kaye turned her head and glared at the guy standing behind her. Corny turned towards him.

"Fuck you," he spat. The guy laughed.

"I'm sure you'd like to, but I'm not a flaming homo."

Corny went to stand up. Luis grabbed his hand. The man laughed obnoxiously.

"Simmer down, fairy king. I don't want to have to fight you and get your gay germs."

"Get the fuck out," Kaye spat. He smirked at her and winked before walking away.

"Asshole," she muttered. She looked sidelong at Roiben, who was oddly tense. Corny and Luis noticed too.

"Hey, relax. I'm used to assholes like that insulting me. No big deal," Corny reassured him. Roiben shook his head.

"It's just... how did he know me?"

All three stared at him.

"What do you mean?" Kaye asked slowly, as if adressing a six year old.

"He said Faerie King. How did he know me?"

Kaye, Corny and Luis all exchanged looks. Then they burst out in laughter.

"Roiben... he wasn't talking to you. He was calling _Corny _the fairy king."

"But... why?"

Here Kaye faltered. "Well... see..."

Corny took over. "You know how Snow White was the fairest of them all? Well, to humans, the fairy king is the gayest of them all."

They all laughed again. Roiben stared.

"Why does it even matter to you? Faerie's don't care about genders. Last time I checked, they go with almost anything."

Roiben shook his head. "It's just... well, you two are human," he gestured at Corny and Luis. "And you were raised human," he said, nodding at Kaye. "And I've noticed that to some humans, being portrayed as... gay... is _wrong._"

More laughter. Roiben really did not appreciate being laughed at so often.

"We are _not _some of those people. That would mean we were self-hating, and I don't know about Luis, but I'm quite fond of myself," Corny laughed. Luis nodded his agreement.

"Besides, I know just how _not _gay you are," Kaye said, grabbing his hand and smiling. Corny turned to Luis and mimed throwing up. Kaye gave him the finger.

"I think it would be cool to be the gayest of them all," Corny said thoughtfully. Kaye kicked him.

"Not helping!"

Corny glared.

When Corny and Luis had left and Kaye and Roiben were sitting on a river bank, she turned back to him, her eyes sparkling mischievously. She was playing with a blade of grass.

"You know Roiben, it's okay."

He looked up. "What?"

"About you being gay. It's fine. I mean, obviously I'm a little disappointed, but if that's how you are, there's not much I can do."

His mouth fell open. "I am NOT!" He insisted. She shrugged, laying back in the grass, still twirling that blade of grass in her hands.

"The game is up. The way you were acting in the coffee shop just confirmed it. I mean, you _are _the Faerie King."

He looked at her. He saw her body shaking with laughter and his eyes narrowed. He sighed.

"Alright, I suppose it's useless to keep pretending." She stopped moving. He smiled to himself. "I mean, I thought that maybe being with you would cause it to disappear, but honestly, the relationship was just _tortuous, _it's a relief to finally be able to be honest."

Kaye sat up, throwing the grass aside. When she saw the mirth in his eyes, she ripped out a handful and threw it at him.

"You bastard," she said, although she was smiling. Roiben pulled her towards him.

"You didn't honestly believe me, did you?" He placed a kiss on her lips. "Don't be ridiculous."

She settled into his chest, bringing her lips to his. After a few minutes of kissing, she pulled away.

"This still doesn't change the fact that you're the Fairy King."

* * *

**I got this idea from watching Two and a Half Men and Alan saying something about how he did something and all of a sudden he was branded the fairy king. I was like, omgomg Roiben is totalllllyyy the faerie king and then I wrote this and now I'm writing my AN and now I'm done :) Mind you, I don't have spell check so if this is chalk full of grammatical errors I aplogize. **


End file.
